Voices

OK, so...I wonder...where are the voices that inspire, believe and and in their very tone, smile. It's not that I haven't heard ANY of these kinds of voices speak in my life, there are just too few.
I am so overloaded right now...yet still want to dream, dare to do and try things but... I cannot do these things alone...because there is already too much on my plate...but if I was one of a group of dreamers...maybe, things could happen.

Ahhhh, but here I am again, relying on others, waiting for their cue or approval and I am always disappointed.
I know, I know....be the change you want to see. Yes, but all my life I have had to do that. Is it wrong to want to find something to be a part of where you're not the strongest or most motivated one. I'm getting tired of being a lone ranger.

Most of that is my fault though. I am very picky who I hook up with. Truth is...I'd rather be on my own than Aline myself with something false...Truth is, it's easier to deal with yourself than others.

I rant...I rave but in the end I still have myself to blame. Again.
Sorry for the whining...just in one of those moods.